![]() ![]() We came to realize it was worth losing our son for a year vs losing him forever. He came from a good family and loved the same things our son enjoyed, surfing, fishing, camping, etc. I should also note, we had some good friends who lost their son to drug addiction the year before and he reminded us so much of our son and his friends. We would take one step forward in helping our son and five steps back until we realized he needed help we could no longer offer him. There were kids of all financial walks of life, kids who were socially challenged, kids experimenting with drugs, gaming and depression. I can’t stress enough the importance of this group in helping us make very difficult but life-changing decisions for our family and our son! I recommend going to a couple of meetings so you can see you are not alone and their resources are numerous. ![]() We were also introduced to BILY (Because I Love You), a support group for parents of troubled teens. Yes, we gained some tools to be better parents however, it didn’t help Jimmy from falling further into his depression. His dad and I started to see a counselor to gain the tools we needed to deal with our son. He also started experimenting with drugs, marijuana, and vaping. He became very critical of himself and disrespectful to his family. “Towards the end of middle school and into our son’s freshman year, we noticed he lost interest in most of the things he enjoyed doing. You can view her original email and Jimmy’s article by clicking on the images below. I first met her through the Bily group.Īmy has graciously allowed me to share her story. She originally sent this email to me.Īmy was grappling with her teenager. To illustrate this, let’s look at an email from a mom, Amy. They come to me asking for guidance because of the fear for their teenager’s well-being.Īlways remember, there is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty for choosing life for your child!ĭon’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for choosing to have your child live! Riffled with peaks of joy and valleys of terrifying persistent fear.Ĭan you imagine what it feels like to experience a spectrum of emotions, spanning from intense dread and anxiety? Or is that where you are now?Įvery parent I’ve helped in the last 20-plus year have one thing in common. The harsh reality confronting many parents is that they provide their children so many chances that their life becomes an emotional roller coaster. Like Amy and her husband, often, the decision comes down to choosing whether your child will end up in jail, die or have a chance at living a happy, productive life. Deciding to send a teenager away to a boarding school or a therapeutic program is the hardest decision a parent ever makes. I’ve never met a parent who wanted to send his kid away. In the twenty-plus years I’ve been working with families. These out-of-control kids create havoc in a household. Their lives become all about the one misbehaving kid at the expense of all the other family members and their relationships. They love them so much that they’ve spent countless hours conversing, working with therapists and coaches, and shuttling their kids back and forth to activities, counselors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists, drug rehab, support groups and more. ![]() These “online critics” in support groups and blogs don’t get that these parents love their children. They see their inability to “control their teenagers” as a parental failure and not what it truly is. ![]() Worse yet, many judge them and accuse them of being bad parents. They don’t want to deal with the difficult child going to “normal” teenage rebellion. One of the biggest lies online is that these parents send their kids away because they don’t love their children. Many parents try so hard to find answers. They search for counselors and programs to help their teens change their course and go back to being the good kid they knew before disrespecting, substance misuse, and self-harm began. ![]()
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